Monday, May 4, 2015

Am I Kanye West yet?

Lately I've been a little distant. I've been enjoying the two weeks off I have before I start school yet again. And lately, I've been feeling pretty crappy about NOT graduating yet, or not being close to graduating like so many of my friends. And boy have I been reminded by so many that I'm not as close as them to graduating. People have been feeling the need to give me school advice that I didn't want or need. 

So I've been feeling a little lost, and quite frankly a little hurt. What am I supposed to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to become? 

But why are we in such a rush to become? There's nothing natural about four years of grueling school. And to be honest, a full load of school wasn't helping me any. It was destroying me. It brought stress and anxiety and a whole lot of tears to the point where I wasn't enjoying my life like I should be. I sat in my room for days typing essays, drinking energy drinks. The only time I would see the sun was when I was walking between the buildings at campus. Is that really any way to live? 

I decided it wasn't. I took a semester off. I lowered my class load. And quite frankly I've never been happier. I'm learning so much about myself. I've gained a green thumb, I've mastered the art of DIY. I even actually appreciated my math class this semester. I'm enjoying challenging things. So yes, I won't be graduating within the four years it should take. But I don't regret it, and I won't let anyone belittle me or tell me what I should and should not be doing. 

So this blog post is for the people who have told me that I need to take more classes, that I need to stop taking breaks, or reminding me every five minutes that they only have so many more classes to take: I don't care, thank you very much. 

Also, this post isn't meant to be mean to the people who are graduating. You should be so freaking proud. You worked HARD. Good for you. 

2 comments:

  1. You're not Kanye. You're the Queen. Queen Bey. And I am glad you are seeing that it's okay to not be doing what everyone else is. It's your life. You are beautiful and thoughtful and deep. You are worth so much, whether you currently have a degree or not! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Also, here is a TED talk that has changed my life. You may have already heard it, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it again :) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

    ReplyDelete